Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Money and a happy family - is it a myth?

Can you be rich and still have a happy family?

It is a true phenomenon that most people assume that money will automatically make them happy. When they are going through challenges at home, they are deluded into believing that, if they had money – then they would have no problems.

Yes money can make help you buy things that can temporarily make one happy, but money will never be a substitute for a happy spirit, or a balanced and happy home.

Most women argue however that, if they are to cry (we assume that there are many tears in marriage I have grown to learn), they must as well cry themselves to sleep in-between silk gowns and Egyptian thread count sheets, in a 3 storey house that boasts of a nanny, a butler and a maid. A house with so many bedrooms that the last one set foot in one was the day they were moving furniture in. It is true that most our fellow sisters believe that suffering in a BMW X5 is a better evil to being married to a man with no money – who will bring you strife irrespective.

I am the total opposite. I simply refuse to be made to cry in a relationship. I refuse to let anyone make me that unhappy that I will convince myself that money is a warm substitute. Yes, that’s me. I argue that, if I am to cry (tears are tears anyway, wherever I am found shedding them, so whether it be in a one room with no electricity or 3 storey 5 bedroom house) I shouldn’t stay emotionally connected to the object of my tears. I mostly believe that joy just as much as pain, is a choice that we have the ability to make.

I choose to believe that I create my joys, as well enable my tears and must therefore always be a step ahead in my knowledge to empower my being to always attract that which is noble, that which is good.

Still we live in a world that demands that we put in many physical hours if we are to have any semblance of riches for we equate our riches to the size of our bank account. We live in a world that doesn’t sleep but will stay awake and responsive only to those that are conscious to its heartbeat, only to those that are always running around being busy bees. We exist in a time that demands that we give our all, or nothing at all. Therefore finding balance is always going to be our greatest challenge.

Back to my reality

Have you ever wondered why it is that most successful people are unable to keep a stable or happy home?

I did for just a second before I actually got married, or was it just before I had earned just a little bit of success. Then, and only then did I get to fully understand just how difficult it is to keep the balance between a happy home and “making money”. Making a home warm and welcoming is WORK. It takes a level of Maturity that many do not possess. It takes Patience and of course, the knowledge of God.

Yes, it is true, I have only been married for just under a year – and while this time may seem short to most, it is a milestone to me personally (I am talking to you Sifiso C. Dlamini here and alerting you that I will celebrate my 1st,  2nd and yes 5 year anniversaries – so expect my invitation card in your mail).

I am only a year in marriage but have realized this; it is by far the most difficult act of humanity to find the equilibrium between success in your career and a happy home. It is one of those acts that need the grace of God. One of those that I realize, had I done earlier (marriage that is) I probably would have turned out so very differently.
 
Still, while difficult - there is still a balance point, a point that can be found where we can try and manage to make each arm happy. If we as partners make a conscious effort to work together and walk toward a common goal, we can actually find that point where we are all managing to be fulfilled and still loving at the same time.

This is where the fun for all partners begins: the journey to a common goal!

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